A Week Ago Tomorrow

Call off the dogs ... a review of last Friday's draft is upon yee.

Actually, let me take a step back and, in the interest of managing expectations, first tell you what this post is not. It is not a round by round, pick by pick rendering of the draft, nor is it a minute by minute, moment by moment recitation of who did what and who said what. What it is is a Top 11 ranking of the night's memorable quotes and, where appropriate, a little commentary to add color and hue to the sometimes context-less quotes. More thorough rundowns of the makeup of each team will be the subject of future posts.

So without further ado, the quotes.

11. "Bevormo, get me a Singha." Teatro

This quote leads things off because it was one of the first quotes of the night. Mareeco, God bless him, had ordered a lot of gourmet, and not-so-gourmet, beers from Direct Fresh and took off from work early so he would be at his apartment to receive the delivery. Then he took the beers and strategically placed them throughout his living room in large tin buckets filled with ice. I was sitting on the windowsill between Teatro and one of the tin buckets. Hence, the quote.

I should also note that this particular quote was repeated 7 more times.

10. "If you order Dominos, can you get some wings? I don't eat cheese." Teatro

Teatro, for all his excellent attributes, has one major weakness: he can't eat cheese. It's really a shame because he is very cool otherwise.

9. Mareeco: "What's O'Flannel's number? Let's get this going." [dials O'Flannel and starts talking to him] "Yeah, Yudek's here. We're startin'. You're on the clock." [talks to O'Flannel for another minute then hangs up] "He wants to make the pick in person. He's in the building. He's waitin' for his wife in the lobby."

You see, O'Flannel, who recently moved from New York to Boston to live a block from Fenway Park (yes, that was the reason he moved), was in D.C. for a meeting with key members of the United States government (no b.s.) and was flying in from said D.C.-location to participate in the draft. Due to traffic he was running a bit late and, because he had the first pick of the draft, Mareeco called him to find out who he wanted to draft. Apparently, Tam was just in the lobby of Mareeco's building waiting for his wife to arrive. I don't know if this is really quote worthy, but I find it funny that O'Flannel was standing alone in the lobby while we were all upstairs drinking, and he wanted to wait until he got upstairs to make his pick. Not sure why it strikes me as funny, but it does.

8. "Yudek. Today." Prismante, 10 seconds into the time for Yudek's pick.

Prismante is a man of little patience. This quote is illustrative of really every other pick in the draft. As soon as the clock started to run, Prismante would start harping on the guy to make a pick, the 5 minute limit be damned. This was probably because Prismante wanted to hurry things along to his next pick so he could draft an injured pitcher (see quote 4).

7. Geleaux: "I'll take Weeks."
McDavies (derisively): "Hmph, 40 errors."
Geleaux (mocking): "Hmph, 30-30. (beat) Why don't you trade A-Rod again."

This was a good exchange. Geleaux took Weeks with his second pick and McDavies didn't think too much of it. As you can see, Geleaux didn't waste time in responding.

6. Mareeco: "I don't know how to use the Williams Sonoma timer. I'm not gonna lie."

As a wedding gift last year, Mareeco received a Williams Sonoma timer. The timer kept going off at odd times throughout the draft. Hilarity ensued.

5. Zaggy: "If I'm thin, I'm good looking ... That doesn't help me now."

D'Artagnan Zagarofsky, owner of the Angry Americans, may have been the funniest guy at the draft. This was my favorite of many good quotes from him. His delivery was spot on and I'm not sure if it will translate here. If there was a context for the quote, I didn't get it, but instead just heard Zaggy say this seemingly out-of-nowhere. I then laughed.

4. Prismante [after taking Prior and Smoltz]: "And with my next pick ... Dr. James Andrews."

Prismante also drafted Gagne, Rolen, Benitez, Nomar and Drew Brees.

3. Zaggy: I'll take ... Barry Bonds. (pause) I just threw up in my mouth.

Zaggy is a hearty Mets fan and has no reason to like Bonds. This is a great example of how fantasy baseball can corrupt your soul, where you are forced to cheer for a guy like Bonds every time he steps to the plate because if he hits a bomb your fantasy team benefits. Luckily, I am able to avoid this problem which is why my team has Jake Peavy, Clay Hensley and Trevor Hoffman. Trades for Scott Linebrink and Josh Barfield are in the mix. Dave Roberts' and
Dewon Brazelton's presence in the free agent pool have been duly noted.

2. Mareeco [sitting up straight suddenly and saying in a loud voice at a random point in the draft] "I'll take Scott Shields!"
O'Flannel: "Mareeco liked that pick. He sat straight up."

This was funny because I was watching Mareeco as he made the Shields pick and the ferocity with which he sat up and said "Scott Shields" was startling, and I was thinking to myself that Mareeco must be really excited about that pick just as O'Flannel said what he said.

1. Octagon: "I'll pick Shea Hillenbrand."
Mareeco: (scrunching face in pain) "That ... is not ... a good ... pick."

This drew a pretty big laugh from the group. I don't even think Hillenbrand is that bad. It was the way Mareeco kind of distorted his face and slowly said his words. It seemed as if he was saying it slow because he was trying to think of a creative and funny synonym for "pick" but then decided to f-it and just said "pick" which mirrored what Octagon said. For that, it ended up being real funny.

So there you have them. Good times, indeed.